Saturday, January 26, 2008

I Tried

There once was a man from Montreal

Who couldn’t write limericks at all

It was such a crime

He could miss the obvious rhyme

At a linguistic shopping centre


  1. There once was a fellow named Peter,
    much more than your average news reader!
    When he did opine,
    'twas really quite fine
    as it came from woofer and tweeter.

    They finally gave him a talk show
    although he was poor with a clock, so
    the news and the sports
    took it in the shorts
    and stop-sets were late from the getgo.

    When he would malign the dear felines,
    the listeners, to him, made beelines.
    His ratings, they soared,
    but callers grew bored
    and never filled up more than three lines.

    Still, they put on in Toronto
    and listeners took to him pronto.
    His "stuph file" they dug,
    though racially smug,
    they soon began calling him Tonto.

    And thus we return where we started.
    I'm sorry if some of this smarted.
    But Peter, my friend,
    all poems must end --
    even one so clearly big-hearted.

  2. Not everyone can write limericks,
    They seem like verse making gimmicks;
    Yet just get your rhymes
    On 3 out of 5 lines
    And there are no further tricks

  3. There once was a guy name of Peter
    Nobody could ever be sweeter
    On radio and TV
    For the whole world to see
    And don't forget twitter and tweeter.

  4. Jamaica's a wonderful place
    Feels like I'm up in space
    I could have so much fun
    Of fun in the sun
    Jamaica's a wonderful place.

    Sorry....wrote that in Grade Three.